Little somethin’

Tomorrow I will receive my équité salariale and I will pay all my debts ! I feel so relieved.

To celebrate, I bought homemade cheese ravioli and cupcakes ! I can’t help it, I’m smiling, thinking of what it means not to have to pay 330$ a month for the dentist. 🙂

Ça va bien !

  1. Je n’ai plus de pansement depuis mercredi. Je prends soin de mon bobo, je m’assure qu’il n’y a pas de résidu de savon et tout.
  2. Je vais reprendre le gym quand je vais avoir l’assurance que le bobo est parti. Je ne veux pas l’aggraver.
  3. Mon voyage est approuvé et j’ai payé mon vol et mon hôtel, hier.
  4. Mon chum est sensationnel. Tellement gentil et patient avec moi. Il a même fait la vaisselle deux soirs de suite.
  5. J’ai vécu une journée pas mal intense hier et j’étais pas mal contente d’aller me faire faire un pédicure, avec la belle A., à la fin de la journée.
  6. L’orthodontiste a installé deux boîtiers et un autre fil à mes broches vendredi passé et je n’ai plus mal à la mâchoire.
  7. Mon chat m’a laissée dormir cette semaine. J’ai le rhume alors, je suis bien contente de dormir.
  8. A Good Wife. Je ne m’attendais pas à ce que ça soit bon et ça l’est.
  9. J’ai une date avec mon chum ce soir. On mange du portugais !
  10. J’ai eu une réunion très frustrante cette semaine. Mais, je ne suis pas seule ! J’ai de l’appui.

Lundi positif

Je trouve la chanson tellement belle, positive ! J’ai le goût de pleurer chaque fois que je le regarde. J’ai aussi le goût de sauter et crier !

  1. Je ne sais pas si je vais dire oui, mais un café près de chez moi m’a demandé de leur faire des biscuits pour les vendre.
  2. Mon chum m’a tellement gâtée pour la Saint-Valentin ! Il a fait du ménage, m’a acheté des fleurs, va m’amener au resto ce soir…
  3. Des draps propres. Je ne sais pas pourquoi, mais il y a un feeling d’être au sec en sécurité. (je me relis et là, ça me donne l’impression que je parle de porter des couches!)
  4. Prendre un bain avec du sel et des huiles essentielles.
  5. I’m a firework.
  6. J’ai vu mon amie samedi soir et on a eu une conversation personnelle étonnante, sans jugements. Il y a enfin quelqu’un dans ma vie qui me comprend sans me juger, qui a vécu des choses semblables aux miennes. Une conversation qui nous a soulagées.
  7. Je suis étonnée d’avoir passé à travers des épreuves très difficiles…je ne suis plus une victime ! Quand je regarde ce que j’ai vécu, je me demande c’est qui cette fille-là ? Je me rends compte, que je suis rendue ailleurs et que j’ai plus de contrôle sur ma vie qu’avant.
  8. La compréhension que la violence c’est un manque de vocabulaire. Si tu cries après le monde, fait du chantage émotif, fait des menaces, donne des coups, joue à la victime comme au bourreau, c’est que tu manques de vocabulaire pour communiquer et t’exprimer en adulte responsable.
  9. La compréhension que les choses sont parfois, souvent, hors de notre contrôle. On ne peut pas tout contrôler. On ne peut pas contrôler les gens non plus. Des fois, il faut savoir laisser aller…dire ce qu’on ressent et laisser la personne faire son chemin à sa façon peu importe le temps que ça prends.
  10. Pouvoir prendre congé. Quel luxe !

Because I’m Worth It

Becky is on vacation ! I am honored to be guest blogging for her. I wish she spends a beautiful vacation and comes back all relaxed.

Please go visit and wish her a good vacation !

On to my post…

I’m sure you know someone who does this. Maybe you do it too.

A friend of mine almost always keeps stuff for a rainy day or a special occasion. She receives beauty products and keeps it for a special occasion. She buys chocolate and keeps it for later. She buys a teacup and it’s too beautiful for every day use.

I was used to buying food and keeping it for later because I was afraid of not having enough. I kept a dress for a special occasion. I put away lingerie for that one special night.

What happens ? The products expire. The soaps lose their perfume. The food rots away. The chocolate turns white. The teacup gets broken by an energetic cat. The lingerie seems to have lost its allure. The dress doesn’t fit anymore.

Of course, you know where I’m going with this. Blablabla enjoy life every day blablabla every day is a special occasion blabla.

You have all heard this before and you probably received this email about a widower finding all the things his dead wife had put away for a special occasion and had never used. It’s cliché. It’s still true. That stupid chain email has stuck with me and has imprinted my brain with its message.

I bought a dress. It was black. It fitted me like a glove. It was impossibly sexy. I wore it only once and not a week-month goes by that I don’t think of the time I have wasted feeling self-conscious about my body and not wearing great clothes because of it.

I think it takes training to be able to use what you would keep for a rainy day. It takes a mental kick. It probably comes from thinking we are not worth enough to look beautiful, to smell good, to use the good china, to dress sexy, to eat fresh fruit. I don’t know. Maybe I’m overthinking it. I still think of my friend who says the object of her lust, of her pining (she does lust and pine over her stuff) is too nice, too beautiful. Why ? Why is it too nice ?

« Because I’m worth it » has become something I hold on to and I think she should think about it.

That email has stuck with me. I wouldn’t want to thank the person who sent it again and again. But I wouldn’t want to be that woman who dies with unused treasures all over the house either.

I still put soaps away. I wait for them to dry out a bit so they last longer. I take my fanciest soaps to the gym. I buy expensive strawberries because that’s what I want to eat. I lather on that wonderful shower gel because it does smell good and I feel like a princess when I use it. I wear my lingerie week nights because the fabric is soft. I haven’t bought any sexy dress since 2007 but I bought skirts and I wear them. It makes me think I should wear my jacket more often. I read the books I buy instead of keeping them for later. I use the chocolate in recipes instead of leaving it in the cupboard.

I think it’s making me enjoy life more. Pleasure, joy, well-being shouldn’t be put aside for a special occasion or a rainy day. Pleasure every day keeps the doctor away and makes us live a richer and more satisfying life. That’s what I think. I’m just saying.

Blog Love – Versatile Blogger Award

This neat button was made by Becky, she thought it needed to be pimped (like Pimp my Ride, but this is my comparison). She gave me this awesome award and I am grateful because I have been having a hard time this week and although I felt better, this award and some blog love I received by Mel on this post has tipped me over the bump into grateful-content-happy-I am moved mode.

The Rules for the award are:

1. Thank the person who gave you this award

2. Share 7 things about yourself.

3. Pass the award along to 15 bloggers who you have recently discovered and who you think are fantastic! (in no particular order…)

4. Contact the bloggers you’ve picked and let them know about the award.

I have started reading Becky when I started doing the You Capture challenges. I just really like the name of her blog The I Heart Blog and her picture and I love to read her posts because they make me feel happy and energetic. She is a fellow lover of cupcakes too, she’s crafty, and funny. She’s « my kind of people » too. So thank you for awarding me !

I have been blogging for a while so I don’t know what I can tell that those who read almost every post don’t know. But I will get this a try.

1. In high school I took any class that was not advanced maths or science which means I had drama, beauty, technical drawing, visual arts. I have studied in arts in college (we call it Cegep here) before studying in library stuff (specific enough but not too much).  I am now taking psychology for fun because I need to be intellectually challenged. People at work think it’s crazy because I have a demanding job that keeps me analyzing, adapting, thinking so why would I need even more challenge ? I decided on a short program of 3 courses. I have only one more to do and I will have done it. I’m very proud of myself because I doubted I would be able to do university courses and I’m doing it from home.

2. Vacationing in Acapulco with my dad at 15 and then in the States with my mom and her boyfriend and my two sisters at 16-17 convinced me I didn’t like travelling. I reassure you, it was not the country that made me feel this way, it was my family. For years I have been depressed when going away from home.

I don’t need to see the world like some people do. I feel like a tourist in my own city, my own province and my own country. But I started to do small trips to get used to travelling. And now it’s getting more exciting to me. One day I hope to go to Boston again because I don’t remeber much from when I was 16-17. I want to go to Colorado because of the snow and that is where Diane Mott Davidson’s books are set. Vancouver is a must and why would I want to pass up Saskatoon ? Prince Edward Island is a big dream of mine and so is Kuujjuuak. Alaska, Greenland and England. Louisiana is also a dream and that’s all because of Charlaine Harris’ books.

3. I read a lot. People say that. I don’t read as much as I used to. Some years I have read a few hundred books and now I read from 50 to 80 books a year. I have been told I should write a book myself. I have been told I should talk more about what I read.

I love choosing books for people and I really don’t like telling people why I like what I read. I like books for some reasons that are probably different from what others like. My friend C. reads even more than I do and we read the same books sometimes (Sookie Stackhouse and Stephanie Plum books for example) and we never like the same things ! When I really love a book, I talk to her about it and she makes faces, not convinced at all. We are so not attracted by the same things. The same with J-L. He will like a book as much as I did but he will not see all the cultural references which made me love the book even more. He will have focused on something else. I highly dislike analyzing books. Maybe because I have been paid for that and I hated it, took all the fun out of reading. I like a book or I don’t.

4. In my past I have been a very negative person. I see myself as a realist and I am more positive than I ever was. Strangely enough, some people perceive me as negative. It never fails to astound me. Because I will always compare myself now and myself then and I love the person I am now.

5. When I was a kid and as a teen I was afraid of water, cars, eating in public, my dad, my mom, bees, spiders, any kind of bug that could be found in basements, anything that was really noisy, change, yelling, speaking in front of people, that noone would sit with me on the bus, inviting friends over, dogs, large groups of people, and I’m probably forgetting some things. Like brussel sprouts.

6. As a young adult, I was afraid that people would see I had cellulite, varicose veins, a belly, boobs, that I became red when I was stressed or shy, and I’m probably forgetting things.

7. Now, I know how much time I spent worrying about what people think and how much time I wasted thinking people would stare at me, how much time I wasted thinking about my damn  cellulite while I could have worn anything I wanted. I am not afraid of most of the things I enumerated in 5 and 6. I’m still afraid of water and I still have cellulite and veins (although I got that treated so they don’t show as much anymore) and I don’t care about what people think because most of the time people are worried about what I think of them. I have a belly and boobs, I’m still red when stressed, tired or shy.I have a woman’s body.

But I love going to the beach even if I’m afraid of water, even if whatever because the fun is much greater than being hot, the water makes me feel alive and wonderful. Even if I have to wear a bathing suit, even if my thighs jiggle, even if I am afraid of being eaten by a shark, or touching weird slimy things in the water, even if I don’t see the bottom. I have fun on the beach looking at people as imperfect as I am, I have fun playing in the water with my boyfriend, reading on the beach, eating a picnic.

The bloggers I give this ward to are :

  1. MyInfertilityWoes
  2. PurPlume
  3. IShouldBeFoldingLaundry
  4. ThisEclecticLife
  5. AdventuresofaBettyCrockerWannabe
  6. JustAnotherReasonToEatChocolate
  7. LifeandAllThatComesWithIt
  8. HamsterCentral
  9. OnTapforToday
  10. DreamingofQuietPlaces

I’m sorry I have no more blogs to add ! I don’t follow that many blogs that I can name in the list or I lurk about but not regularly enough. The others would probably not put an award on their site or they don’t give a crap care. I am missing 5 blogs. Maybe you could suggest blogs to me so I can expand my horizons ?

Kreativ Blogger Award !!

This is a huge surprise to me ! It makes me very happy so I thank you Gerardine for nominating my blog. Thank you also for providing a blog to read which is a source of wonder and mystery :

The Rules for accepting this award are:

1.Thank the person giving you this award.

2.Copy the award to your blog

3. Place a link to their blog

4.Name 7 things people don’t know about you.

5.Nominate 7 Bloggers.

6.Place a link to those Bloggers.

7.Leave a comment letting those Bloggers know about the award.

7 things people don’t know about me…

  1. I like to go to bed alone so I get to sleep without snoring sounds. But I still love when he comes to bed. I love sleeping next to him.
  2. At the moment, I am procrastinating so much  I fear I won’t be able to do all my class reading in time. I’m usually a disciplined and organized person.
  3. I don’t like eating oranges. Too much trouble, too much potential for leakage.
  4. I love weird words (they are to my ears) like Moist which made me giggle like a 5 year-old when I would watch Dead Like Me. Also, fluid, flabbergasted, and others I can’t recall at the moment.
  5. I intensely dislike meetings and team work. Nobody knows how much I do. I love my work because I don’t have to talk to anyone, I don’t depend on anyone (almost) and I have learned so much (on my own) that noone else knows what I do or how I do it…my boss is freaking out because she fears having to replace me. Well, I’m not gone yet.
  6. I used to blog on Dandelife where there is no fancy tool bar, no Kreativ blogger award, no statistics. Just a neat timeline.
  7. This blog was created in May or June 2009 after I was fed up with not being able to go into Dandelife to write my stuff. I have not regretted it even though I had to build a new readership. Hum. I still don’t have a readership per se.

7 Bloggers, not easy to choose ! Many blogs I read are only in French. Also, after reading one of Mel’s post on Delurking, I think I’m a lurker. I may be on your blog everyday and you might not know about it…as in the case of Mel, see #6. I go there every day ! All the blogs listed are blogs I find funny and/or inspiring and they make me think and laugh and go forward with plans, dinner, posts, life. DebOnTheRocks and SassyMonkey contribute to BlogHer also and are very good reads. I consider those bloggers as brilliant !

  1. On Tap for Today
  2. Sharon’s Blog on Sister Village
  3. Culinspiration
  4. Sassy Monkey also the author of the blog Sassymonkey reads
  5. DebOnTheRocks
  6. Stirrup Queens
  7. OneLadyInTheWorld S. is my cousin and she needs to be encouraged to post more often and please ask her to post about her many adventures in the universe of buses, metros and trains. She takes beautiful pictures ! She is an endless source of stories in person. I wish she would write them on her blog ! I also wish she could write them in French and she could install a translator and then everyone could read her stories. She was my inspiration to buy a Kodak and start taking photos. Blame her for my restrrom posts. She created a monster. 🙂