Thought Questions

I like that blog. I don’t always answer the questions so I thought that I could choose some and write my answers here.

#495 Do you drink tap water ? Why ?

Yes I do. I don’t see why not. No plastic bottles, no contracts with water companies to deliver bottles for a machine that takes up space, it’s free. Montreal’s water is clean and tap water is free. I might buy a Brita eventually but it’s still tap water.

#496 What is the best job in the world ?

I won’t say mother because it wouldn’t be true. It can’t be the best job if you always worry and argue with your teens, if your hands are covered in shit and your shirts in puke. Being a mom isn’t the best job even with all the benefits like smiles and hugs and unconditional love (until they are 10).I want to be a mom but it has nothing to do with being the best job.

To me, the best job is a job where I am alone at times, I’m free to make decisions, I’m allowed my autonomy and I’m paid well. I also have to be one of the few to do it. The very best job would include my own phone line, an office with a closing door and free coffee. Ain’t gonna happen. But hey, we are talking about the BEST job.

#494 What is the most difficult question you have had to answer ?

A friend I had used to ask me if I was happy. I couldn’t say yes or no. I would think « what does happiness have to do with anything?! ». Of course, now, I can say yes and have been able to say yes for quite some time.

#493 What is something that you would hate to go without for a day ?

Food and drink. I was thinking about my boyfriend’s hugs but food and drink comes higher. They answer basic needs. Without it I can’t function.

#489 If you were garanteed an honest response to one question, whom would you question, and what would you ask them ?

I would question my mom and I would ask : « Could you please tell me what you were talking about when you said you had lived incest without hiding who has done this ? »

Thought Question 390 : Do you think your parents brought you up right ?

I put that blog in my RSS and lately I have been neglecting my RSS reader. I have been tired (I almost slept 12 hours friday night and staurday night) and I have been preoccupied with…The Good Wife. So this morning, I decided to use one of the questions to prompt a bit of writing.

No. I don’t think my parents brought me up right. But yes they did.

It depends on what I look at. Of course, this is going to look like I blame them for everything. I do. But then I didn’t stop there, I changed things. Isn’t what growing up is all about ? Moving on, forging ahead, creating the life one wants ?

Nobody’s life is perfect, right? Mine certainly wasn’t and my parents gave me what they had which isn’t that much if I look at it carefully. Slaps behind the head, control issues, alcoholism, muteness about what’s important. It all affected me and it all gave me the message that it’s better to slap someone when that person doesn’t live up to your expectations or if that person defies you…or shut up and drink if you are so mad and you can’t talk. Violence is a lack of words. My family is really super good at talking about nothing. It’s boring. I think that the only real talk we had, my mom and I, was about sex.

I had to wait to go in therapy to talk about what really bothered me, about all that was stuck inside me and I couldn’t get out. When reality is too difficult for me, and all I have learned is to act like everything is fine…it is really stretching the fabric of reality and stretching the mind and memory…I have to make everything fit so I forget things. Exactly like my mom.

So my life up to a few years back was about forgetting, shutting up and being mad. As a child it was also about being so mad and having no control and getting into fights.

However, my mom loved me. Badly but she still did. I can’t say the same about my biodad. Loving me brought me up better. Kind of.

My mom is curious and I am the same way. She loves to read and so do I. Everything I lacked I took from my books. Books brought me up better and friends also helped.

My mom showed me that people do change sometimes. Not always in the way I would like but they do change. For example, my mom is never going to stop drinking. But she became a bit more honest about herself. And I put clear boundaries that she tries not to cross.She showed me it is good to celebrate, she loves to party. I prefer celebrating every birthday as the conquest of another year. She loves food and every meal was a battle because I didn’t like food but now that I’m grown up, I love food. Superficial stuff.

My parents didn’t bring me up quite right but they sure showed me how not to be.

Five Questions Friday

1. Do you open presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day?
It depends on where we are on Christmas eve and Christmas day. My boyfriend and I open our presents before if we are away at Christmas.

2. What is your favorite Christmas cookie (or candy)?
I have just discovered bacon cookies and you bet I’m going to make them a Christmas tradition.

3. What’s the worst Christmas gift you’ve ever received?
Knives and a cookbook while I was in depression. I had suicidal tendencies and I had no appetite. BRA-VO as we say here. What were they thinking ?!

4. Christmas song that you love?
I honestly don’t know. At the moment, I’m listening to Glee’s Christmas album.

5. How many trees do you put up?
None. Does two geraniums count ?

 

 

Five Questions Friday

 

1. If you could have any talent and turn it into an occupation, what would it be?

I would be a medium. I went to see one a couple of years ago and she told me I had it in me. I think I do have bursts of whatever it’s called and know before things happen that they will and I have predicted some relationships to happen and to unravel. Is it because of this supposed talent ? Probably not. Would I like to have this talent ? You betcha. 🙂 I would scare the crap out of people and make them be with someone who fits. I would predict my parent’s death so they change the way they live. Hehehe Yes. I know. It is manipulation. Don’t blame me ! Blame my mom who said she would never, NEVEEEEEER, stop drinking and my biodad who hasn’t stopped even if he lost his driving license.

2. Would you rather have a house at the beach or a cabin in the woods?

Hmmmm…a house in the woods besides a beach ?

3. Is there any meaning or reasoning for the names you chose for your child/children?

I don’t have kids yet. But yes there is a reasoning. If the name was good enough for older genrations, why settle for Opal, Jade, Obiwan or Voldemort ? I like old-fashioned, solid and dignified names such as Marie-Antoinette-Sophie de Pompadour. How about that ? Or Charles IV of the House of Montreal.
I like anglo names and I like names from Lucy maud Montgomery’s novels. Jane, Anne, Emily. For boys, I like Matthew, William, Charles. I like Maël that can be Maëlle for a girl.

4. What is your guilty pleasure? (I know we’ve done this one before, but I’m guessing people’s « guilty pleasures » change frequently. At least, mine do!)

My guilty pleasures…
  • Chocolate milk in my coffee
  • Skinny caramel latte from Starbucks
  • Buying magazines. I enter the magazine store every week to see what’s new.
  • Chocolate. Fancy chocolate, québécois chocolate. Yummm.
  • Reading on the cardio machine for 20 minutes instead of going like a maniac while staring at the screen or the wall for 10.
  • Buying stuff not in special !
  • Watching « Raising Hope »

5. Do you live in a house that is deep cleaned or straightened?

Wouahahaha !! I try but it has never been this way since I started living with my boyfriend. When I’m rich (after I finish paying my stupid braces in, like, a gazillion years) I hire a cleaning lady. I will do the straightening out of the house, the dishes, the clothes washing but the rest will be hers ! That way I don’t have to remind my boyfriend to vaccuum and I don’t have to feel like I’m doing everything alone (which is untrue but feels like it because we never clean at the same time).

Late Booking Through Thursday

I am many days late for this post. During my vacation I have been lazy with my blog !

1. Favorite childhood book?
Anne of Green Gables, duh. 🙂

2. What are you reading right now?
I will start reading James Patterson’s 9th Judgment today.

3. What books do you have on request at the library?
Private by Patterson, The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake, Shakespeare’s Champion, Shiver.

4. Bad book habit?
Returning my library books late.

5. What do you currently have checked out at the library?
Too many books to list them.

6. Do you have an e-reader?

Not interested.

7. Do you prefer to read one book at a time, or several at once?
It is not a preference. I don’t want to bring a book I have almost finished in the metro in case I have nothing else to read so I start a new one.

8. Have your reading habits changed since starting a blog?
I sometimes post what I read.

9. Least favorite book you read this year (so far?)
More than one.

10. Favorite book you’ve read this year?
All the Sookie books.

11. How often do you read out of your comfort zone?
Not enough.

12. What is your reading comfort zone?
Kids books, YA, mystery novels, chick lit, cookbooks, sci-fi.

13. Can you read on the bus?
Yes

14. Favorite place to read?
The metro

15. What is your policy on book lending?
I lend it and I ask for the book back.

16. Do you ever dog-ear books?
Yes

17. Do you ever write in the margins of your books?
No

18.  Not even with text books?
It depends of what I’m reading and if I have paper with me.

19. What is your favorite language to read in?
French books should be read in French, same with English. I don’t like bad translations.

20. What makes you love a book?
When I have fun reading it or if I’m totally swept by emotion.

21. What will inspire you to recommend a book?
If I know the person well enough, I will recommend the right books.

22. Favorite genre?
Don’t have one.

23. Genre you rarely read (but wish you did?)
Classics. I used to read them a lot growing up but I don’t anymore.

Favorite biography?
Don’t remember.

25. Have you ever read a self-help book?
Of course !

26. Favorite cookbook?
Mrs Field’s Cookies, Cuisiner au goût du coeur, Eat-Clean Diet

27. Most inspirational book you’ve read this year (fiction or non-fiction)?
The Red Paperclip

28. Favorite reading snack?

None

29. Name a case in which hype ruined your reading experience.
La Vie de Pi, so not worth it.

30. How often do you agree with critics about a book?
I don’t read critics.

31. How do you feel about giving bad/negative reviews?
I don’t care. If I don’t like a book I feel I have the right to say so. It’s subjective.

32. If you could read in a foreign language, which language would you chose?
Chinese, maybe.

33. Most intimidating book you’ve ever read?
A.S. Byatt, can’t finish the books.

34. Most intimidating book you’re too nervous to begin?
Don’t know

35. Favorite Poet?
Louise Labé

36. How many books do you usually have checked out of the library at any given time?
10

37. How often have you returned book to the library unread?
Regularly

38. Favorite fictional character?
Anne Shirley

39. Favorite fictional villain?
Don’t know

40. Books I’m most likely to bring on vacation?
Books I own in paperback.

41. The longest I’ve gone without reading.
One day, maybe.

42. Name a book that you could/would not finish.
Too many !

43. What distracts you easily when you’re reading?
Cooking, my boyfriend, loud voices in the metro.

44. Favorite film adaptation of a novel?
Anne of Green Gables

45. Most disappointing film adaptation?
Meyer’s books

46. The most money I’ve ever spent in the bookstore at one time?
200$

47. How often do you skim a book before reading it?
All the time…unless I already know I want it.

48. What would cause you to stop reading a book half-way through?
Being bored by the book

49. Do you like to keep your books organized?
Yes

50. Do you prefer to keep books or give them away once you’ve read them?
If I love the book I keep it. If I know I won’t read it again, I sell it. If it is not « sellable » I give it.

51. Are there any books you’ve been avoiding?
Fantasy, Harlequin romances, Danielle Steel…

52. Name a book that made you angry.
Lovely Bones

53. A book you didn’t expect to like but did?
Janet Evanovich’s One for the Money

54. A book that you expected to like but didn’t?
Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters

55. Favorite guilt-free, pleasure reading?
Everything


Self interview

Hello

Hello

What’s up ?

Not much

Really ? Why isn’t the August Icomleavwe badge on your blog ?

Last month I barely had time to comment and it made me feel disappointed about myself and this month I will be gone for 4 days during the Icomleavwe week. I can’t make all the comments in the few days left.

Where are you going ?

I’m going to Québec with C.

How is she doing ?

I wouldn’t know. I haven’t seen her in a while. She has an insane schedule at work and she’s looking for another job and she has a boyfriend.

You are rationalizing, aren’t you ?

Yes.

Why?

Because I’m angry that she does that all the time. And I know I’m unfair about it. She really is busy and really has no time.

What makes you so angry then ?

It’s always the same thing. I have to call her or ask her to do something. Since she has a boyfriend, I feel like she waits for him by the phone (which she doesn’t) and I’m always last. I hate it. When I talk to her about it she says she will do better, she will ask me to do stuff. But she doesn’t. My rationalization is what makes me wait for her. Patiently.

Although your patience is nearing its limits.

Yes

What are you doing about it ?

I’m hoping our vacation will bring us closer together and I have started a friend quest.

Friend quest ?

Yes. I am trying to see if looking for friends is the same thing as looking for a boyfriend. Can I apply the same strategies ?

Can you ?

That’s what I am examining. I have registered on web sites and have started going to activities. I think that I am not making real friends at work, my rela life friends are busy with boyfriends and babies. I’m not making friends at the gym either, I’m concentrating on my weights. So maybe activities that I like will attract other people who like that too.

What activities ?

I have been to breakfast at Cora’s and I have been to the Ceramic café. This was done with the first website I registered at. I used Meetup as well as suggested by Elizabeth. This afternoon I am going to a drawing class.Another web site I registered with is for women only and I have not RSVPd to any activities yet because my schedule is full. I’m waiting for Fall.

Have you met interesting people ?

At breakfast no. One guy I already knew but the other one was weird (he kept looking at my décolleté and he talked too loud, he had no social skills, he even started reading the newspaper before the meeting was concluded). At the ceramic café I met a French woman vacationing here and she was quite nice. Very calm. We had moments of silence while we did our ceramic painting and we talked about men, our exes and all that. It was nice. She is coming to my eating cupcakes activity next week. Too bad she is going back to France at the end of the month.

Do you feel like it’s online dating ?

The weird guy made me feel this way and this other website I was using. I deleted my account this morning because everyone was called a friend on the website but it felt like an online dating service and I had only one woman send me an email. Only men voted on my profile or picture. Blargh.

So you are going to a drawing class today ?

Yep. I have to buy a drawing pad, I haven’t used one in years but I still have my charcoal pen. It’s a model class with vin et fromages. Relaxed. I hope I can go.

Why ?

I have blisters under my two feet near the toes. I walked too much with new flipflops that looked very promising. I should stick to what’s known and trusted : Crocs.

Ouch. Why didn’t you buy Crocs this time ?

I went to the store on Ste-Catherine and they didn’t have flipflops anymore. So I bought two pairs (2?!) at the massotherapy place I went to this week. I shouldn’t have…

How about you ?

I found this at PurPlume’s blog and I thought it would be fun. If you want to give it a go, you can answer the questions in the comment or on your blog.

1. When do you feel happiest?

When I have the feeling the world is asleep. When I have slept my full 10 hours, the world is brighter. But when I have insomnia, I love to be up blogging or doing homework while the world is silent. I feel like I’m alone, I can hear my boyfriend snore, my cat is usually asleep on the chair beside me and it’s bliss.

2. How do you take care of yourself?

I exercise regularly, I eat well enough, I try to breath deeply a couple of times a day. I go to bed early. I stimulate myself intellectually by learning new things and challenging myself to go to another level. Blogging helps me not keep everything to myself. After years of therapy, I still and I will always need somewhere to vent. I buy better shoes so my feet are comfortable and the same with clothes. I need to be comfortable and warm enough or cool enough. I give affection to J-L and I accept his.

3. Are you internally (by yourself) or externally (by others) motivated?

I am so internally motivated it’s ridiculous. I hate working with other people because I always know what to do and when to do it. I’m a control freak. I don’t need encouragements but they are welcome. I am the one telling me to do better or to go the distance with stuff.

4. What do you do for fun?

Bounce, go to the gym, walk, read, blog, snuggle J-L and play with my cat, cook, try new recipes, take pictures.

5. What intimidates you?

Very popular people. Eating in public. Particularly the first time with someone.

6. What is something you’re proud of?

Being good enough in English to get the job I have now. Being able to study from home and I get good marks. I’m so proud of all the work I have done on myself to feel better. I am doing a great job.

7. Finish this sentence. I never____________________.

Have been to the States since I’m an adult.

8. Favorite vacation spot.

Île d’Orléans

9. Today is a (rate from 1 – 10).

10/10 I slept almost 12 hours, I went for sushi with J-L and then we bought lots of cupcakes, we walked a lot and I have continued my homework. I’m going to contunue it after this post.

10. Finish this sentence. If you knew me really well you’d know _____________.

That I’m honest and can interact well with people even if I prefer being alone.