Feeling down ? Need a boost ? Want to smile ? That’s what simple pleasures are for ! Small things that keep me going.

  • Listening to songs I am ashamed to listen to in public or to admit I listen to
  • Singing loudly on said songs or turning round and round on my office chair
  • Turning round and round on restaurant stools
  • Drinking perfumed teas instead of plain green tea
  • Finding the music from the Misfits show
  • Drinking lots of coffee
  • Procrastinating
  • Eating dark chocolate
  • Contemplating cupcakes before the first bite
  • Looking at pictures I have taken of my last trip or my pet
  • Watching chick flicks
  • Cooking and baking
  • Going for a walk with no destination in mind

Deal with it

Yesterday I spent time with a friend and she regularly told me « stop thinking you’re fat, you’re not fat ». No shit Sherlock. I know I’m not fat and I’m not thinking I’m fat. I think she thinks I am or she thinks she is. Wonders of projection.

  • I clearly see I have some padding over my muscles. I have gained 40 pounds in 2008. It’s a fact, not a myth. Doesn’t mean I’m thinking I’m fat. But I used to.
  • Of course I have some complexes, like everyone.
  • Even with the padding and the complexes, I don’t think twice about undressing in front of others in the locker room and I am happy in my bathing suit at the beach. Why would I hide ? Why would I stop myself from having fun by shying away from being half naked in the sun ? Or shying away from making it easy for myself ? Finding a space where no one can see you so you can gingerly get out of your panties is too much work.
  • I’m grateful that this body allows me to be active.
  • If I have the choice between equally delicious food or drinks at 90 calories or 500 calories, I’ll choose the 90 calories. Why ? Because I don’t see why I would add all those calories to a regular diet. I already eat well and I don’t keep away from sugar and fat. Which means I eat like a normal healthy person (with smaller portions). If I have the choice between a small brownie from Le maître chocolatier or an apple…I’ll choose the brownie. Apples and braces don’t mix well and those brownies are intensely delicious. If I make my own brownies, I’ll choose the healthy recipes made with sweet potato, half the fat.
  • I like restaurants but I prefer my food.
  • I have muscles underneath it all. Real ones that I want to make stronger and more apparent.
  • There are heart problems in my family and it’s a problem I don’t want.

If someone thinks I’m fat, it’s their problem, not mine. I still wear size 11 pants, large t-shirts and my cup size is still C. I can strut my stuff like nobody’s business, I have fun with zumba, I love being in the big gym with the big guys and seeing I can lift more than 80% of the women there (and it’s stillnot what I aim for). I’m happy in my body.

Deal with it.

Lundi reconnaissant

  • La bouffe ! J’aime ça, je sais cuisiner, c’est booon.
  • Mon chum. Quel homme merveilleux.
  • Graceling. Pas mal bon comme livre. J’avais mes doutes, mais, finalement, j’adore.
  • Ma robe de chambre. Une chance que je l’ai quand il fait froid.
  • Mes nouvelles pantoufles. Cutes et confortable et chaudes.
  • Cette nuit, mon chat ne nous a pas réveillés !
  • The Big Bang Theory. L’émission qui me fait le plus rire en ce moment !
  • Castle. L’émission qui me fait le plus tripper en ce moment. J’adore voir des vrais auteurs dans les épisodes, je trouve que castle est drôle. Ça me fait penser aux romans de Patterson.
  • Motivation ! I don’t know where it comes from but I have no lack of it !
  • Le soleil qui est enfin sorti depuis samedi. Ça fait du bien.
  • J’ai des nouveaux gants pour le gym. Ça va m’aider à bien prendre les poids sans qu’ils glissent.

Because I’m Worth It

Becky is on vacation ! I am honored to be guest blogging for her. I wish she spends a beautiful vacation and comes back all relaxed.

Please go visit and wish her a good vacation !

On to my post…

I’m sure you know someone who does this. Maybe you do it too.

A friend of mine almost always keeps stuff for a rainy day or a special occasion. She receives beauty products and keeps it for a special occasion. She buys chocolate and keeps it for later. She buys a teacup and it’s too beautiful for every day use.

I was used to buying food and keeping it for later because I was afraid of not having enough. I kept a dress for a special occasion. I put away lingerie for that one special night.

What happens ? The products expire. The soaps lose their perfume. The food rots away. The chocolate turns white. The teacup gets broken by an energetic cat. The lingerie seems to have lost its allure. The dress doesn’t fit anymore.

Of course, you know where I’m going with this. Blablabla enjoy life every day blablabla every day is a special occasion blabla.

You have all heard this before and you probably received this email about a widower finding all the things his dead wife had put away for a special occasion and had never used. It’s cliché. It’s still true. That stupid chain email has stuck with me and has imprinted my brain with its message.

I bought a dress. It was black. It fitted me like a glove. It was impossibly sexy. I wore it only once and not a week-month goes by that I don’t think of the time I have wasted feeling self-conscious about my body and not wearing great clothes because of it.

I think it takes training to be able to use what you would keep for a rainy day. It takes a mental kick. It probably comes from thinking we are not worth enough to look beautiful, to smell good, to use the good china, to dress sexy, to eat fresh fruit. I don’t know. Maybe I’m overthinking it. I still think of my friend who says the object of her lust, of her pining (she does lust and pine over her stuff) is too nice, too beautiful. Why ? Why is it too nice ?

« Because I’m worth it » has become something I hold on to and I think she should think about it.

That email has stuck with me. I wouldn’t want to thank the person who sent it again and again. But I wouldn’t want to be that woman who dies with unused treasures all over the house either.

I still put soaps away. I wait for them to dry out a bit so they last longer. I take my fanciest soaps to the gym. I buy expensive strawberries because that’s what I want to eat. I lather on that wonderful shower gel because it does smell good and I feel like a princess when I use it. I wear my lingerie week nights because the fabric is soft. I haven’t bought any sexy dress since 2007 but I bought skirts and I wear them. It makes me think I should wear my jacket more often. I read the books I buy instead of keeping them for later. I use the chocolate in recipes instead of leaving it in the cupboard.

I think it’s making me enjoy life more. Pleasure, joy, well-being shouldn’t be put aside for a special occasion or a rainy day. Pleasure every day keeps the doctor away and makes us live a richer and more satisfying life. That’s what I think. I’m just saying.

La vie est trop courte

La vie est trop courte pour :

  • Eat only dark chocolate with a certain amount of cocoa in it
  • Spend time looking for biological, organic food
  • Spend a lot of money on biological and organic food
  • Vacuum every day
  • Clean my bed sheets every week
  • Watch the news and be depressed about it
  • Spend my life with someone I don’t really like
  • Be bored by people I don’t like
  • Boycott products I like
  • Get drunk
  • Get high
  • Give a damn about what people think
  • Wash my windows
  • Give a damn about my furniture being clawed by my cat
  • Worry about things I can’t control anymore, things of the past
  • Spend my time watching for guys
  • Wait for approval
  • Be unhappy and unhealthy
  • Be fashionable
  • Finish reading books I don’t like
  • Eat stuff I don’t like (Brussel sprouts for example)
  • Care about O.J., Britney, etc.
  • Go out when I don’t want to
  • Stop drinking coffee
  • Have sex when I don’t want to
  • Flirt with Ken dolls who don’t know I exist
  • Match panties with bras every day
  • Shave every day
  • Wear high heels
  • Go shopping for hours
  • Do exercises that are not fun
  • Write emails to people I don’t care about
  • Spend hours on the phone when I could see the person
  • Feel guilty about every damn thing
  • Feel ashamed
  • Dye my hair and go back to the salon every month
  • Try to bring back dead plants
  • Spend it being overweight and unhappy
  • Pine after guys that don’t call back
  • Wait for phone calls
  • Wait for people to make plans with me
  • Train a do

La vie est trop longue pour ne pas ou trop courte pour :

  • Read bank statements and worry about money all the time
  • Put money aside
  • Exercise
  • Think about death
  • Be respectful
  • Keep engagements
  • Plan for retirement
  • Improve myself
  • Go to church
  • See a psychologist every week
  • Care about my physical well-being
  • Spend it healthy and fit
  • Wear clothes when I could wear a pyjama and bathrobe
  • Read
  • Paint
  • Care about anything

Mais, je le dirai pas…