The future is here

I started dating my boyfriend 2 years ago. It didn’t take long before we knew we were meant to be together and we wanted it to last. I knew within the first date that I wanted him in my life.

After three weeks, he had pledged his love and his life to me. It was kind of a wedding vow while he was sitting in my kitchen.

It has been a great 2 years during which I got a permanent job, he lost his and started school again, I stopped therapy, he moved in, we discovered the beach and tried fancy restaurants to celebrate stuff, we laughed, we broke my bed, I got raises, he asked for a loan, etc.

We talked about kids and having a house and it all seemed so far away.

But this week, we realized that the future is here. In 6 months he will finish school and get a job. After he gets a job, we wait three months…and we are going to « try it ». If everything goes well, we are going to have sexy time without protection. I will be 36 so I don’t know how long it will take but I am finally nearing that point I have waited for for years.


Avril 2008 : Le mariage de mon meilleur ami

He has been a friend for years. We fracked around for 8 months a few years back, feeling genuine affection for one another and knowing nothing could come out of it. We remained friends.

I received my official wedding invitation for his wedding (in August) last week and am…shocked. I’m happy for him and I knew of his plans to marry her. But if it was me I wouldn’t invite him to my wedding. Last time I saw his girlfriend she made comments that made me think that she was jealous.

I have not responded to the email (invites were sent by email)…and there is another thing that makes me hesitate. It’s an ecological wedding. How can I wear a dress if we have to go on a bike ? No heels because they’re getting married on an island in the middle of a park. And it’s a potlock so we have to bring food and drinks and we are expected to write what’s in the food on pieces of paper because there will be a lot of vegetarians, veggans and « allergic to everything » people. And we have to bring our plates, forks, spoons etc. No napkins, no disposable dishes or glasses. How can I bring all of this on a bike ?! I’m not equipped for this. We’re also expected to participate in games…urgh.

I really love that friend even if he never calls. Always too busy plus he doesn’t think about it. That’s why he doesn’t have that many friends. His girlfriend is much better at keeping contact, very sociable.

So I don’t know what to do, really. I want to celebrate their love for each other with them but I think it’s so much trouble !

Finalement, je n’y suis pas allée. Je ne pensais pas qu’aller au mariage de mon ex était une bonne idée sachant que l’attirance est toujours là et que ça rendrait sa blonde insécure. J’ai quand même reçu mon invitation pour le aprty du jour de l’an auquel je ne suis pas allée non plus. J’étais à Ottawa avec mon chum.

À 6 ans, je planifiais mon mariage

In kindergarten I had a crush on Martin but it stopped. Because when I met Hugo I knew he was the one from the top of my six-year-old hair with silvery blond strands (Iwas nicknamed grandma because of it) to the bottom of my new sneakers that made me run faster.

Hugo was taller, thin, with a HUGE smile. He was gentle and my parents loved him. He was so nice to me. We would sit on the ground, our backs to the school wall, soaking up the sun and talk about our future wedding and my dress. Whatever I would say, Hugo would say okay.

Hugo would wait for me at the doors, opening them for me. We would play together.

Maybe he went to another school or maybe we separated for an unknown reason. But I don’t remember him much after this first year together, just that he was there in class. We didn’t see each other for many years after the third grade.

In fifth grade I went to another school anyway. So the next time I saw him, we were in high school. He was as smily and nice as ever. He hadn’t changed much. We went out for two weeks but I guess I wasn’t ready because I just couldn’t kiss him. I was 15, I didn’t like kissing, holding hands and hugging. I was kind of late in the dating and smooching department.

So we broke up. But we remained friends. And now, we are Facebook friends. Hehe.


To my boyfriend, getting married is about making the vows. Not about a priest, a dress and a party.

Yesterday, he said he was marrying me : « I am yours. I will take care of you. You won’t be able to get rid of me. I’ll always be there. » Coming from him, I want to believe it and I knew these words were not to be taken lightly. I said: « I’m yours. I have always been yours. I will take care of you too. I will never forget you even when we have kids, I will always think of you. » He is the « forgotten » one in his family.

He added : « I won’t think about other women. » I laughed. « How can you not think about other women ? ». He said that of course he would look at other women but he won’t think about them. I smiled. I then added that « Even if I had the most handsome Ken in front of me, you are the only one. » We kissed. We are now « married ».

Rêve au mariage de ma soeur, Ashton Kutcher ?!

I dreamt that I had to assist My Sister in the wedding preparations when I was « dreming » of sitting in a pew, at the back of the church, writing about the guy being an asshole. Or not go at all.

I was with a guy who seemed to like me enough when I discovered he was still in love with his ex he was supposed to marry. The guy hesitated a lot.

He didn’t love me but was thinking of doing « the right thing ».

The fucked up girl was My Sister. She realized he was still thinking about her when she saw his house and on one side there was something written in red and in blue on the other side.

I didn’t even know he had been with her, I thought he had met someone new. He was tirtured, locked in his room, I was dumbfounded.

I went back at my parent’s where I ate chocolate on the couch (my own couch I think, my sitting room).

I hear my sister scream loudly at me. I don’t respond. She arrives, her boots full of snow, she gives me chocolate and asks me to help her. I get up and go to the kitchen and look at the answering machine. There is no message. She says : « He hasn’t even called you? »

« No » I say. « It’s looking bad for your love life ».

Then when I see myself at the back of the church wearing a t-shirt and jeans, loudly clickling on my laptop, I am on a street that looks like St-Hubert picking up my Sister’s wedding gown.

I am wearing a white outfit, jacket and pants, a cup of coffee in my hand. Her gown fits into a small box in my left hand. I walk in front of a closed shop and enter in a less traditional shop. I decided to see if she hasn’t put anything else aside. The shop owner is Ashton Kutcher.

He calls My Sister to talk about a deposit.

I wake up because the wind makes lots of noise and I have to pee.