Bonjour mon amie

Your email made sense even with no re-reading. I was too tired to respond yesterday (not because of the email!). So I reread your email and am now ready to answer ! Maybe your mom’s cat has some sympathetic pains over what is happening with your mom ? You know, like men who have fake pregnancies ? I’m glad that your palliative care unit has such a good reputation. I hear these units are essential and as you say Godsends. You mom will be well taken care of, I am sure.

Your body probably needs some rest if you are sick more often. Do you still have insomnia ? I have been feeling very tired lately. My life is Bridget Jonesian and not for the best. When I’m alone I’m feeling great, I like being single. But when I date, I just feel so discouraged. How do I find these men ??!! Fortunately, I take my time so I don’t end up regretting « something » I’ve done with a guy that I will not have a future with.

Latest in my wonderful dating world is B. I met him in 2005. He went to work elsewhere short after. We have some chemistry, the kind where it is so easy to bug one another. I decided to say how sorry I am for being on the defensive that way, I don’t know why I react like this around him. He said it’s his fault and asked me to dinner. I said yes and was soooo excited that I’m only recovering from the exhaustion from having burned so much fuel over a date last wednesday.

We saw each other three times and I’m already thinking it’s not a good idea. Is it so bad to want someone that doesn’t live with his mother at the tender age of 46 ? Who doesn’t cave in to his son by giving him an Aero bar, a very rich hot chocolate AND an Extreme chocolate brownie from Juliette and Chocolat? Who doesn’t think that « being there » for a kid is by taking him to Disney World, Cuba, the biodome and whatever else ? Who has a job that does require him to stay in one place ? Who doesn’t make comments on the width of my arms, the size of my shoulder bag and doesn’t look at me like I’m an insect ?

He is 46, has been divorced for five years, has a five year-old son that he has with him when he comes back from touring around the province or the world. He’s a touristic guide for T., he’s away weeks at a time. He hasn’t given me his number even though I have asked at least three times. And he says about himself that he is self-centered ( he has said that many times, very uninspiring). Up to date he has contradicted himself about what he tells a couple of times. And he told me that he has a very reliable babysitter…which turns out may be his mother…which turns out might be the woman he lives with…He doesn’t cook, he eats in restaurants. He has never had animals and doesn’t show interest in my cat. This really is a deal breaker. Don’t you think ? hehe

After the Vietnamese cook who had sanitary napkins in his bathroom even if he had been separated for three years (long story), the bookseller who cheated on me by internet with a girl he met on a trip (and may have cheated in 3D), the artist who dumped me without giving any excuse, the older guy who kept making comments about younger women he saw everywhere (all were different from me and had great eyes, wonderful legs…), I am really on the brink of entering the convent. Maybe not. But I’m on the brink of renouncing men ! Maybe not.

However, there is a silver lining. I went to the café Sunday (I was supposed to see B. that afternoon and have dinner but he cancelled and only kept dinner) with C. who I hadn’t seen in a couple of weeks and I spent a great afternoon…staring at Manu the waiter. The cafe was closed for renovations and we hadn’t returned there since December. Manu seemed VERY happy to see me, we almost hugged…but didn’t. Caroline says he wanted to put his hand on my back when we were leaving but patted my arm instead. He is younger and so sexy. Eye candy, really. And he is studying in « kitchen school ». Anyway, he looked at me a lot while we were there. It is quite a velours.

So that’s what’s going on. I know there is someone out there who will love me for who I am : I am not a heel wearer, I don’t put on makeup often, I do have a big shoulder bag, I talk a lot and am analytic more than emotional. Anyway.

My little dramas are only that, small. But I do hope it brought a smile on your lips and has brought diversion ! 🙂 Apart from that I have been going to the gym 4-5 times a week and it FINALLY shows. Small sigh of contentment here. I feel more solid, less vulnerable in my body. That’s all for now. Boy does it feel good to write about this !