I have never been so busy. Of course there are times when I have nothing much to do but I have never had such a busy social life.
When I look at my Outlook calendar, I see lots of colors, days with multiple appointments. Activities that should last 2 hours turn in 4-6 hours outside the house. At this point in my pregnancy, it is very tiring for my body.
Yesterday, I had an activity at the café. J. has opened a second floor ! I went with A. and C. I was planning to stay there maybe an hour. But A. and I arrived before C. and then we chatted and instead of getting home for 5:00…well, I didn’t get home until 8:00. C. and I went at Casa Manolo’s for dinner because I had planned on going with her for a while and last time, it was closed. I had to cut things short, I really wanted to go home. My bladdergina hurts easily.
Today, I am meeting with someone to sell my ice skates. I go to the gym with J-L. I have to return books to the library. I have the washing to do and some reading. It doesn’t seem like much does it. But for me it’s being busy. Probably because I’m tired.
Je pense que je vais prendre congé demain. ok
C’est la fête de mon chum et je veux aller chez le boucher.ok
Il faut que je fasse des cupcakes de fête ! Je vais les faire à la vanille et je vais les décorer.ok
On va manger du steak avec une sauce aux champignons et porto, patates pilées.ok
J’aimerais aller au gym aussi, en pleine journée. Nope
Et j’aimerais terminer mon devoir en buvant du café chez Lefebvre et Filles.ok
J’aimerais enfin acheter des tablettes. Je pourrais aller voir chez Rona ou Canadian Tire. Je ne les ai pas achetées mais, je sais que je vais les prendre chez Ikea.
Je vais appeler ma grand-mère. Ça fais des mois que je ne lui ai pas parlé et je veux qu’elle sache que je n’ai pas enlevé la chaîne qu’elle m’a donné depuis que je l’ai mise.ok
Je vais pouvoir coller mon chum. 🙂 Je lui ai acheté des écouteurs et un sac pour son appareil photo. Je vais aussi lui payer un massage. Shhhhht c’est un secret. ok
25 janvier 2006
I discovered the existence of this cute café while I was on my way to the police station to give my statement, to report my Ex-Roommate from Hell. I was feeling « not quite there » as I was walking and I took another route than the one I usually take to go on Wellington street.
As I was walking, I finally lifted up my head and saw the café. It was closed because it was late at night (after 8) but some lights illuminated the sign that said « Bouchées de bonheur » – Bites of happiness. The café was painted in luminous pale yellow, I could see that they had a few wooden tables and chairs, and shelves of products I couldn’t identify.
A couple of days later I decided to go there (I didn’t have a coffee machine back then so I usually went out for my morning coffee). But I couldn’t find it. So I walked on different streets until I found it again.
I never regretted going there, I was always welcomed even if I could sit for hours writing. I went there with a book or homework. The owners eventually became friends and the usual customers became friends or nice acquaintances. It was a place I felt safe and it was a place to go while I was depressed. It was easy to be myself.
Well. I woke up with the remnant of yesterday’s migraine at full blown force. I felt like « morning after » a biiiigg party…I took two Advils liqui-gel and went to Lefebvre et filles to get a dose of humans. The walk there felt great. It snowed a lot yesterday so there were snow banks all over. White light, mild temperature, refreshing wind on my forehead.
While the second Advil was doing its thing, I chatted with someone who made me think that nothing is random. She does the same work I do, her name sounds like mine, she has the same kind of freakish family and the things that happen to her…Let’s just say that I felt like I had met what I could become if I held grudges, never let go of anything and blamed everyone instead of changing some things. Freaaaa-ky.
She is fortysomething but is sick so she looks like a sixtysomething. Just started her therapy paid by work. I couldn’t wait to go away as she was unraveling her life to me. I guess I should have been more distant and not act polite. Had she not said so much I would have stayed there and drink coffee. Instead I put on my tuque, my scarf and coat, paid and went to the library. I stayed there for a while looking at cookbooks and choosing two novels. I walked a bit and went shopping for Chinese food.
It was a nice day. I cooked and watch DVDs. I petted the cat and gave him chicken. Nice, solitary, relaxing. Even with the future double I could be. And that I will NOT be. 🙂
J’arrête par là 15 minutes, une demi-heure, je prends un muffin top ou une galette, un café pour emporter, je feuillette le journal pour me désoler de l’état du monde. Je passe dire bonjour, pour me convaincre que j’existe, parce qu’on me sourit et…pour le café évidemment.
On a l’air content de me voir et voir la propriétaire et les employés…eh bien, ça me soulage. Je suis convaincue que le monde n’est pas plein de méchants ! Je suis émerveillée de voir autant de gens extraordinaires au même endroit. Je ressors un poids de moins sur les épaules, je vais travailler tranquille.
Ou bien j’y passe un temps fou à lire en buvant un latte. Je regarde les gens, je regarde les employés travailler, je regarde les décorations. C’est le seul endroit où je tolère quelqu’un que je ne connais pas à ma table. Je ne m’y sens pas menacée. Ni par les habitués, ni par les nouveaux clients. Je sais que je peux dire bonjour, parler sans qu’on m’arrache la tête, sans que quelqu’un soit déplaisant ou déplacé.
Il y a quelque chose de magique dans ce café-là. Un peu comme si c’était l’atelier du Père Noël. La terre tourne mieux quand on y croit. C’est la même chose avec Lefebvre et Filles (et gars maintenant). Ma planète tourne pas mal plusse rond quand j’y crois. Et j’y crois parce que je vois : la gentillesse, la créativité inspirée, le rire, l’entraide, l’humanité.
The Cynical one has said that to me after asking if I had beautiful toes now that I had had a pedicure.
We sat at the same table this morning, a great advantage of going for coffee to a place that has only a few tables. Hmmmm…he asked me if I wanted to sit with him because I had just offered my table to a family that wanted to sit to the table nearest the toilets.
I replied that of course I wanted to, I had hot flashes just thinking about it. I just had to joke around. But the guy just makes me want to make him smile. He can be so inexpressive that every smile is a victory. His question for the day was : Am I reading teen novels because I’m still a teen ? Grumble. I told him he was a twit, no it was just because it’s so damn better than adult novels. But we had a great time talking, looking at the newspaper, arguing a bit about his hair.
I went on Facebook to look at his profile…he was born the day after me on the same year. And damn, he has a tattoo. I don’t want him to cut his hair it gives him a softer look. He looks safer with longer hair, no tattoos, ordinary Plateau artist style. I looked at his Halloween picture just as I had promised and wrote that I wanted to say « Hey sexy but after seeing that picture beurrrrkkkkkweeeeeeee, there is no way I’m going to put my toes in the mouth of such a monster ! »
When he went away, my « adoptive mother » and my « older sister » joked around about him asking me to sit with him. It seems he never does that. But I think it was just fun. After everything that has been happening to me lately, I can’t afford having any ideas. J. has really broken my heart.
I realized that I have a tendency in believing it when guys act like they’re into me and really fall down hard when it turns out I had every reason not to trust them. I don’t want to make future guys pay for those who came before but I just can’t trust everyone. Or any guy lately. So I’m just going to have fun, harmless flirting, with this Cynical One.