3 octobre 2007
I could have answered « Secret : strong enough for man, made for a woman » but I just asked what he was talking about.
My colleague was looking at me and asking me what was my secret for staying calm. Hum. I laughed and said « Pills ». I like joking about the fact that I do take Smarties (Topamax and Manerix).
I followed by « What do you mean, calm ? » It could have meant that I look like I am aloof or that I don’t care. But I knew it wasn’t what he meant by that. He wanted to know how I stayed…calm. Detached, focused. It is a weird question. I laughed.
And I answered from my point of view. Here is my secret :
1. I focus on my job and if I have nothing to do I focus on Facebook, on the net, on what I have on my desk.
2. I try not to participate too much in the debates around me. I do at lunch time and I even launch them but when I’m at my desk, I am very into what I’m doing. So I try not to reply to the stupid things my colleagues might say (sexist, racist or other).
3. Contrary to other women my age (according to statistics and tests I’ve taken recently, taken with a professional) I think with logic and not with emotions. So if a guy talks to me, he just talks to me. No time is lost in daydreaming about the beautiful kids we’ll have. I think according to my experience and the data I have and I am in an investigative mood most of the time.
4. I am an introvert. I don’t care what others think and I don’t go much towards others. I keep pretty much to myself. I listen and I watch attentively. I will intervene eventually but not until I have all the facts and I know what to do and what to say.
5. I am emotional when it is time to express myself. But mostly I’m alone or with my therapist. At other times I analyze and learn.
My secret ? I’m an undercover robot here to analyze human behaviour.