Si je devais nommer 10 choses pour lesquelles je suis reconnaissante, quelles seraient-elles ?

Pas mal facile, je pense, pour quelqu’un qui fait cette liste toutes les semaines !

  1. Sentir mon bébé bouger. Ça fait un tremblement de terre dans ma bedaine.
  2. M’être sortie de toutes les merdes que j’ai traversé.
  3. Être partie de chez mes parents à 20 ans. Pas d’argent, aucune idée de ce qui s’en venait mais, au moins, j’étais indépendante.
  4. La thérapie a fonctionné.
  5. Je vis avec un homme merveilleux.
  6. Avoir de l’argent qui rentre.
  7. Avoir des assurances.
  8. Je ne manque de rien. De rien du tout.
  9. Quand je suis fatiguée, je peux faire une sieste.
  10. Je viens de réaliser que si mes amies ont été aussi présentes depuis que je suis en arrêt de travail c’est peut-être parce que je vis enfin une situation où elles peuvent faire quelque chose et que je les laissent faire : elles me divertissent !

Some good stuff

My colleague sent me this list this morning. What do you think ? What is the one you most agree with ? Which one don’t you agree with ?

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick.  Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5.. Pay off your credit cards every month. Hm. I don’t.

6. You don’t have to win every argument.  Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone.  It’s more healing than crying alone. Maybe I should but I can’t even cry by myself.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God.  He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck. My first paycheck was when I was 15 and retirement was not even a word I knew ! At the moment, I know that the money I’m putting aside for retirement is going to go on a house. One day.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile. Totally.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others.  You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it. I wish more people understood that.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye.  But  don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath.  It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger. You have to work extra hard for that to happen. What doesn’t kill you makes you more vulnerable.

19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.  But the second one is up to you and no one else. That’s what zumba is for.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.  Don’t save it for a special occasion.  Today is special. YES!

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow. That’s why I prepare my trips like a maniac, fretting about everything. This way, once the trip arrives, I can just let go.

23. Be eccentric now.  Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything. Never. Some things are understandable but not forgivable.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything.  Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. This too shall pass.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously.  No one else does. 🙂

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life.  Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative of dying young. Turning 37 this year ! Wouhouuuuuuuu!!

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved. Nope. What matters is that you were happy and made the most of your life. There might be love somewhere in there but it might not happen.

39. Get outside every day.  Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time.  You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to  come… Depends. If you think of a future in diapers, it is NOT the best. If you think in terms of how much wiser you will be, then yes.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show  up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s  still a gift.

Deal with it

Yesterday I spent time with a friend and she regularly told me « stop thinking you’re fat, you’re not fat ». No shit Sherlock. I know I’m not fat and I’m not thinking I’m fat. I think she thinks I am or she thinks she is. Wonders of projection.

  • I clearly see I have some padding over my muscles. I have gained 40 pounds in 2008. It’s a fact, not a myth. Doesn’t mean I’m thinking I’m fat. But I used to.
  • Of course I have some complexes, like everyone.
  • Even with the padding and the complexes, I don’t think twice about undressing in front of others in the locker room and I am happy in my bathing suit at the beach. Why would I hide ? Why would I stop myself from having fun by shying away from being half naked in the sun ? Or shying away from making it easy for myself ? Finding a space where no one can see you so you can gingerly get out of your panties is too much work.
  • I’m grateful that this body allows me to be active.
  • If I have the choice between equally delicious food or drinks at 90 calories or 500 calories, I’ll choose the 90 calories. Why ? Because I don’t see why I would add all those calories to a regular diet. I already eat well and I don’t keep away from sugar and fat. Which means I eat like a normal healthy person (with smaller portions). If I have the choice between a small brownie from Le maître chocolatier or an apple…I’ll choose the brownie. Apples and braces don’t mix well and those brownies are intensely delicious. If I make my own brownies, I’ll choose the healthy recipes made with sweet potato, half the fat.
  • I like restaurants but I prefer my food.
  • I have muscles underneath it all. Real ones that I want to make stronger and more apparent.
  • There are heart problems in my family and it’s a problem I don’t want.

If someone thinks I’m fat, it’s their problem, not mine. I still wear size 11 pants, large t-shirts and my cup size is still C. I can strut my stuff like nobody’s business, I have fun with zumba, I love being in the big gym with the big guys and seeing I can lift more than 80% of the women there (and it’s stillnot what I aim for). I’m happy in my body.

Deal with it.

Because I’m Worth It

Becky is on vacation ! I am honored to be guest blogging for her. I wish she spends a beautiful vacation and comes back all relaxed.

Please go visit and wish her a good vacation !

On to my post…

I’m sure you know someone who does this. Maybe you do it too.

A friend of mine almost always keeps stuff for a rainy day or a special occasion. She receives beauty products and keeps it for a special occasion. She buys chocolate and keeps it for later. She buys a teacup and it’s too beautiful for every day use.

I was used to buying food and keeping it for later because I was afraid of not having enough. I kept a dress for a special occasion. I put away lingerie for that one special night.

What happens ? The products expire. The soaps lose their perfume. The food rots away. The chocolate turns white. The teacup gets broken by an energetic cat. The lingerie seems to have lost its allure. The dress doesn’t fit anymore.

Of course, you know where I’m going with this. Blablabla enjoy life every day blablabla every day is a special occasion blabla.

You have all heard this before and you probably received this email about a widower finding all the things his dead wife had put away for a special occasion and had never used. It’s cliché. It’s still true. That stupid chain email has stuck with me and has imprinted my brain with its message.

I bought a dress. It was black. It fitted me like a glove. It was impossibly sexy. I wore it only once and not a week-month goes by that I don’t think of the time I have wasted feeling self-conscious about my body and not wearing great clothes because of it.

I think it takes training to be able to use what you would keep for a rainy day. It takes a mental kick. It probably comes from thinking we are not worth enough to look beautiful, to smell good, to use the good china, to dress sexy, to eat fresh fruit. I don’t know. Maybe I’m overthinking it. I still think of my friend who says the object of her lust, of her pining (she does lust and pine over her stuff) is too nice, too beautiful. Why ? Why is it too nice ?

« Because I’m worth it » has become something I hold on to and I think she should think about it.

That email has stuck with me. I wouldn’t want to thank the person who sent it again and again. But I wouldn’t want to be that woman who dies with unused treasures all over the house either.

I still put soaps away. I wait for them to dry out a bit so they last longer. I take my fanciest soaps to the gym. I buy expensive strawberries because that’s what I want to eat. I lather on that wonderful shower gel because it does smell good and I feel like a princess when I use it. I wear my lingerie week nights because the fabric is soft. I haven’t bought any sexy dress since 2007 but I bought skirts and I wear them. It makes me think I should wear my jacket more often. I read the books I buy instead of keeping them for later. I use the chocolate in recipes instead of leaving it in the cupboard.

I think it’s making me enjoy life more. Pleasure, joy, well-being shouldn’t be put aside for a special occasion or a rainy day. Pleasure every day keeps the doctor away and makes us live a richer and more satisfying life. That’s what I think. I’m just saying.

4. Échec

Je choisis ce mot de mon 100 words challenge post pour écrire un petit quelque chose.

C’est en vivant un échec qu’on apprend le plus. On voit ce qu’on pourrait faire différemment. Évidemment, si on répète toujours la même chose et qu’on apprend pas de ces échecs, qu’ils ne sont pas intégrés, eh bien…on répète, on répète et on répète encore.

J’ai vécu ma part d’échecs au travail, en amour, en famille…mais, éventuellement, j’ai réalisé qu’il y avait des choses qui ne marchaient pas et j’ai décidé de regarder ça de près et de changer.

Puis, je suis arrivée à être mieux avec moi-même, avec les solutions que j’ai trouvé, avec la vie. Je peux dire que mes échecs m’ont rendue heureuse !!

Je me souhaite la même chose pour 2010 !

Le monde peut arrêter de tourner, j’ai mon café

J’arrête par là 15 minutes, une demi-heure, je prends un muffin top ou une galette, un café pour emporter, je feuillette le journal pour me désoler de l’état du monde. Je passe dire bonjour, pour me convaincre que j’existe, parce qu’on me sourit et…pour le café évidemment.

On a l’air content de me voir et voir la propriétaire et les employés…eh bien, ça me soulage. Je suis convaincue que le monde n’est pas plein de méchants ! Je suis émerveillée de voir autant de gens extraordinaires au même endroit. Je ressors un poids de moins sur les épaules, je vais travailler tranquille.

Ou bien j’y passe un temps fou à lire en buvant un latte. Je regarde les gens, je regarde les employés travailler, je regarde les décorations. C’est le seul endroit où je tolère quelqu’un que je ne connais pas à ma table. Je ne m’y sens pas menacée. Ni par les habitués, ni par les nouveaux clients. Je sais que je peux dire bonjour, parler sans qu’on m’arrache la tête, sans que quelqu’un soit déplaisant ou déplacé.

Il y a quelque chose de magique dans ce café-là. Un peu comme si c’était l’atelier du Père Noël. La terre tourne mieux quand on y croit. C’est la même chose avec Lefebvre et Filles (et gars maintenant). Ma planète tourne pas mal plusse rond quand j’y crois. Et j’y crois parce que je vois : la gentillesse, la créativité inspirée, le rire, l’entraide, l’humanité.

Self Interview 1

I am kind of bored so…I am interviewing myself for your benefit ! 🙂

Why do you subscribe to Martha Stewart magazines ?

Because I’m addicted to new recipes. I always try to find better ones and I like variation. I don’t like eating the same thing over and over. Plus she always has decluttering articles and I just can’t get enough and there’s this colour thing…the layout is great.

What would you do before you die or what needs to be done before the Big Day ?

Dye my hair, get a tattoo, meet Eve Ensler, marry, have children, say I love you to someone I really love and loves me back, find someone I love and loves me back, decorate my apartment better, get a better salary, do more studies, take care of my cat i.e. find someone who will take him in, get all my bills paid and pay all my debts, leave letters to all my loved ones, get all the papers in order, do a lot of organizing so it won’t be a bother to move my stuff, choose clothes and makeup for the people at the funerary place, go parachuting or hanggliding, go see a medium for the last time and get ready, really ready for the big Bingo in the sky i.e. put nice clean panties on. And get into Mensa maybe ?

What were your nicknames ?

In high school I was nickamed Shy. My brothers-in-law call me Martha and my ex-boss called me Georgette. An accountant from an old job used to call every woman uder the age of 40 Sexy Chocolat and I hated it. Grandma calls me Cocotte.

What is your dream job ?

I have already done all my dream jobs. My dreams have pretty much been realized. That’s why I’m bored. So, I have started a reorientation procedure to look for what more I can do job-wise. Maybe my future dream job will be launderette owner ? Or sex-shop owner ? Maybe I will save the world with my super powers.

What makes you happy ?

Watching TV series on DVD, having coffee with a friend, laughing till my belly aches, talking with my little sister, discovering a new book, knowing I did good, sun patches on my walls, my cat chirping, receiving magazines in the mail, dancing to loud music in my underwear, wearing nice clothes, cooking, receiving flowers, smiles from cute guys, trying a new soap, going to the YMCA and getting out all relaxed, trying new classes at the YMCA, having fun, writing and getting my funk in writing…Finding out I’m really intelligent and it’s not my mom bragging or me being condescending, it’s for real !!