Inspirer, expirer, laisser aller, répéter

I have such trouble sleeping when I think about B. that I have to think about something else. My nerves are all bunched up. Why isn’t it easier to date ? I wish it was like in my teenage years, we fancy each other, think we look hot so let’s bring it on. Let’s hold hands.

So at night when I wake up and can’t sleep, I inhale, exhale and say « let it go », inhale, exhale, let gooo. It does help. I remind myself that not all things are meant to be, that I WILL find someone who will like me however screwed up I am, that this guy will live alone, won’t have memorabilia from an ex all over the place, will not take me for a Band-Aid, a mother, a whore…