« Love is friendship on fire ».North of 60
I have a friend crush. I have those once in a while and they are like love at first sight. Think Anne Shirley with Diana Barry. Bosom friends, kindred spirits. My friend crushes are intense, passionate, consuming, a bit on the obssessive side.
Sounds crazy, scary and creepy.
So is love.
And the higher my crush goes, the harder it is when it comes down and becomes a crash. I hope I am better now that I’m older and understand a few things more. Now that I know that my friendships are like that, that I know how they run their course just like any relationship.
I went to a professional happy hour and I met her there. She was sitting beside me and we started talking. She lives near where I live, has the same profession, is 3 years younger than I am and she lights up fireworks in my mind. I talk with her and I’m all fired up and this is hard to do. I’m bored easily and uninterested by most conversations. Anyway, we became Facebook friends and then I got an email because she was going to a conference and wanted to know if I was going to be there. I wasn’t but I seized the opportunity to see her again by asking her on a « date » when I got used to my braces. I know she likes a portuguese restaurant I like too.
She called today and we chatted for at least an hour. She cried at a time, we laughed, we asked questions, shared doubts and experiences as well as very personal stuff.
Turns out she had been thinking of me since we met just like I had. She thought that maybe I was nice to her just « because », just like I had. She was honest about it and I found that refreshing.
It looks and feels like when I would get all riled up after meeting a guy and imagining stuff. In this case it’s not imagined but it’s the same with the thinking I have a new friend. Like when I met a guy and started asking myseld if I had a boyfriend. That was a long time ago but in my friendships, I’m still that way. I only met her twice and we talked on the phone. Ayayaye.
I had this kind of a crush with L. and it developed in a friendship by correspondence. Another one has turned into a crash and we could never recover from it. I’m sure I have other ones…
Anyway, I just have to stop writing. I am up since 4am and it’s almost 9pm. I went to the gym today, baked cookies and mini loaves and did the laundry and talked on the phone. I’m pooped.