Concording neurosis

We all have our patterns, you know ?

I think we find people because of these patterns and we choose someone because the patterns of behaviour match. It’s like a jigsaw puzzle. A puzzle of madness. Unless we see those patterns and accept them, we can’t break them. It’s a puzzle that can be found in families (siblings are often complementray to one another), in couples, in friendships, at work.

Someone with a savior complex will find someone to save, dependent and hopeless.

Someone with insecurity will find someone with a God complex. Someone that can never do his work in time and his disorganized will find someone who needs to be accepted and can’t say no to do the work.

My Sister, an alcoholic, neurotic, jealous, insecure, unfaithful woman who’s always in trouble found a man who was used to take care of other people, who lived through his mom leaving them, he took care of his dying dad, a nice man.

My mom did the same thing.

My little sister who feels lonely all the time finds guys that leave her alone.

I used to find men with bottomless patience, an uncanny ability to save money like squirrels, men who wanted to understand me, nurture me and…computer geeks. Men who wanted to save me. I was often in deep shit, my life was full of drama, I projected a vulnerability that they found appealing, I never had any money.

Just saying, you know. It’s the start of a certain reflexion.


8 réflexions sur “Concording neurosis

  1. I agree. Sometimes it is beneficial and sometimes it is disastrous. It seems that a delicate balance is what needs to be found.

  2. This is so true. It’s good that you can recognize it though, I think that’s the most important part of preventing it from happening over and over!

  3. One must recognize a pattern in order to break it (well, or not, depending if it’s beneficial). Good for you!


  4. I agree, and it’s easy to see how easy it can be to develop destructive patterns of behaviour. To be aware of one’s patterns and to be able to recognize them is a very big thing…


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