My sister’s a skipper. Someone who starts things and doesn’t finish them. She just skips from school to school, from relationship to relationship.

What if he is a skipper too ? Someone who puts things aside without finishing them…someone who would want to skip this life, a life he has chosen ? What if he really could skip, jump to the next life and leave me and everything in his life behind ?

I decided long ago to not do that unless I had a purpose other than what I was skipping. If I needed to cut through the path to follow another path that gets me closer to the goal. I prefer not to wander too much but what if he is a wanderer ? What if he is starting something right now and is not certain he’s on the right path, not sure what road to take and he has to skip this one ?

What if what is being offered in another life is more appealing than a life with me ? What if what I have to offer just isn’t enough ?

I am different. So is he. What we can have together on this path may be greater than what we could have by following another road, on another life.

I decided long ago not to be a skipper. But what if he is ?

Turns out he isn’t. He’s still here, he still says I’m never going to get rid of him.


4 réflexions sur “Skipper

  1. petrichoric dit :

    Even if he was a « skipper », you can protect yourself by making sure that your life would be filled with friends and excitement even if he weren’t in it….

    Hmmm. Maybe I should follow my own advice.

    • pandabox33 dit :

      My life is already filled with friends and activities and my job. I was happy and content when I met him and I still am. The thing that worried me at the time is…everything is so wonderful. What if the other shoe dropped ? What if he left without an explanation ? What if he lied, what if he decided that what was good the week before wasn’t good anymore ? It happened. With someone else. Everything was fine and then it wasn’t and I had no explanation. So I was worried because I already liked having him in my life.

  2. petrichoric dit :

    Ah, I see. I have had those kind of thoughts before, but not in this relationship. I have always felt very comfortable and secure with him. Sometimes I think I feel too comfortable, but that’s good because at least I don’t spend all my time worrying.

    • pandabox33 dit :

      I feel secure and loved with J. but I guess that’s why therapy was important, once in a while I have those thoughts no matter who I’m with or the nature of the relationship. Now I know that it comes and goes and it’s a reflex that has nothing to do with the reality (he loves me and accepts me).

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