I have done it again. There is no « oups » to this. I don’t know how I manage to do it. Am I lucky, unlucky or is a talent, a curse. After a few emails (3 or 4) the guy is sure we are meant to be together while I am convinced he is not the one for me.

No personal emails exchange, no phone calls, no kinky stuff. Just ordinary emails. And I wonder what it is I do to have that kind of effect. Is it me or is it just immaturity from that guy ? He claims to know me and attributes values, emotions to me that I haven’t talked about.

Maybe it’s just the « Elastic ». There is a theory, I think it comes from Mars & Venus, that says that when someone gets really close to someone else, that person gets away. If you take some distance, the person will come running after you. The elastic is loose, then tightens, then looses up again, etc.

Maybe it’s really appealing to guys that I am not desperate to meet the man of my life. I’m just taking my sweet time. Maybe the guys that write to me are very imaginative and lose touch with reality. I mean, come on, it’s online dating ! Huge possibilities for lying or hidden truths and fiction.

How well can you know someone after a couple of winks and a few 150 characters messages ? And after 3 or 4 emails ? It takes years to really know someone. I don’t understand how you can get attached to someone after a few lines.

I guess I could appear as cold. But I don’t see the point in getting romantic about stories. If the stories are very interesting, then we move along.

My elastic is very tight. And I’m moving away and away. Especially about reading « come on, give me a chance, you won’t regret it ». I’m sorry that he is sad about it, angry or feels betrayed. But I’m just not that into a 23 year-old guy, living at home, studying for years to come. It would be a move in reverse. That I would do if I was desperate for company and light fun.

But lately, light fun and company are not that interesting.


4 réflexions sur “L’Élastique

  1. petrichoric dit :

    I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. People are just attracted to what they cannot have. One of my biggest regrets is that my elastic was never tight enough around certain men. With 99.99% of men it was, and then I’d meet somebody who pushed all my buttons and I’d chase him even though (perhaps *because*) they were unavailable. These men were never « worthy » of me (and I know that sounds arrogant, but, well, it’s true) and I’m embarrassed that I demeaned myself by chasing them.

    • pandabox33 dit :

      We are plenty who are embarrassed about demeaning ourselves…before my elastic was so tight, I was chasing and controlling. Terrible. And you are right. They were unworthy of you. One of my favorite ads says « Because I’m worth it ». So yep you are worth a man who is nice, intelligent and will not need chasing around.

  2. petrichoric dit :

    Oui, « parce que je le vaux bien ». Is that the Loréal ad with Kate Moss, and her atrocious French accent?

    By the way, I don’t think you did anything wrong with this guy. Yes, he just sounds immature and overly romantic. I can relate a little bit to the way he is, as I have often been guilty of projecting my romantic and sexual fantasies onto people I didn’t really know that well. Ironically enough, I think men are worse at this than woman. It’s just astounding to me how some of my clients get infatuated with me just because they paid me to give them a handjob! They have this romanticized, idealized idea of me that has no bearing on reality whatsoever. Weird. Even when I was chasing guys, I would never have fallen in love with someone I’d paid to be with me, no matter how nice they were. I’d always be skeptical.

    Some people are probably just desperate and lonely that they lose sight of reality.

    By the way, what’s French for « handjob »? I know that « to give someone a blowjob » is « tailler une pipe à quelqu’un », but I don’t ever recall learning « handjob ». Oh, how my education is lacking!

    • pandabox33 dit :

      LOL A handjob is « crosser » (vulgar) besides that…I don’t remember !! It has been so long since I’ve done it. For women I say « cliquer la souris » !
      For the ad, I don’t remember who it was. But yes, horrible French accent. 🙂

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